Jokes: i forget jokes so im now writing them down.

A man walks into a bar and asks the bartender if he can have a packet of Helicopter Flavoured-crisps. The bartender replies "Sorry mate, we've only got plane". ...

Two parrots are sitting on a perch.  One says to the other "Can you smell fish?"

how does a donkey like his doughnuts? with jammie in

Whats red and yellow and looks good on Hippies?...................Fire

How do u stop a hippie drowning?............... you cant hes too far out man

How many essex girls does it take to make choclate chip cookies. .......5, 1 to mix the dough and 4 to peal the m&m's

How do Mexicans keep warm? They use chicken for heaters.

Why did the mexican chuck his wife of the roof........tequila

A man is driving happily along when he is pulled over by the police. The copper approaches him and politely asks, "Have you been drinking, sir?"
"Why?" snorts the man. "Is there a fat bird in my car?"

How do you make a dish washer into an answering machine?
Give the bitch a mobile phone

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool?
- Bob

i went to an indian resturant the other day and had a pelican curry. ....................................it tasted good but the bill was massive

Whats best about shagging Twenty Eight year olds? There is Twenty of them!.................

Where does an astronaught park his car?.........in the space man

I wish my lawn was emo so it would cut itself

How many Emos does it take to change a lightbulb? .............NONE they all sit in the dark and cry!!

What goes through a flys brain as he hits the windsreen?......his arse

How do you hide money from a hippy? .......................Put it under the soap.

^click here and see my skirts.